im impossible to love

hi my name is maddie and I'm a sad, disordered young adult.
19 year old girl who lives in Canada.
I hate myself but I love you.

disclaimer: I do not promote eating disorders, nor self harm.

cw: unsatisfied ..

  • links
    ask my face my story recovery blogs main blog
  • Oooh I’ve got the cocaine blues

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    Honestly I can’t even believe how big I used to be and how in denial I was about how big I used to be. Even though my birth control fucked me up and malnutrition me, I like my body now more than I did before. My legs are thinner, my arms are thinner, idk this is just the old e.d talking. I really shouldn’t post this but this is how I feel.

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    Oh my god I haven’t felt this emotionally broken in a long time

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    I broke up with the guy of my dreams because he was too perfect. I feel so shitty today… why am I so fucking stupid. Did I truly make a huge mistake? Could I potentially love you as well? I just want to tear my skin apart. I’m starting to feel broken again. Now that you’re gone I want to love you ..

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    Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. For their well being and your own.

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    You are a 🐢

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    I want to scream and cry and cut myself.

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    Please don’t love her more than you loved me. I’m supposed to let you go, but once a former “loved one” seems to have found happiness without you, it kills and brings a sudden emptiness. Even if that “loved one” mentally and physically fucked you up.

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    update: i still hate myself 

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    uptill2: You're a beautiful person, with a beautiful soul.

    Thank you so much , as are you💕

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    Ha is it normal to lose this much hair idk

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